Going to the lake sounds like a good idea. At 10am, after I’ve eaten, walked, showered, and have worked a bit. The reality is not exactly the same as I imagined.  3 dogs, a husband, a sister, and a 5 year old, at 3pm is not what I was hoping for. I get razzed for wanting to keep the dogs near by, accused of being crabby because I want to be responsible. I also get frustrated because I don’t know how to get a 5 year old to listen when there are rocks and water involved. Plus there’s good ol’ aunt flo affecting my attitude. 

I love the beach. But I don’t seem to know how to take time and come here myself.  Why do I make myself wait for 5 hours to go with others?  I find it sad that I don’t think of nice things to do with D and I.

I keep fighting who I am. Who I wish I was is not necessarily who I am.  So do I embrace who I am, and just accept it?  Or do I fight myself an try to change my basic nature?  Is that even possible?  Is it healthy?  Where is the line?

As someone in recovery, my basic nature is that of an addict/alcoholic. But every day, I choose to do something different.  It took a long time, but I think that, yes, my basic nature did change, and every day I make a choice to maintain that change.

Today is my 15 year sobriety birthday.  Sometimes it feels like 1 year, sometimes it feels like 100 years.  I definitely find myself contemplating my life every year on this day. 

This was a pretty big one for me.  We went looking for ruins and such… We found an old building for making charcoal or a smoker… It was most likely to be a cowboy or settler building.

More pics to follow the break…

Here’s a pic heavy post of our first hike.

More pics after the break…

First off… I have 3 blog posts that are sitting on my hard drive.  Unfortunately, that drive is on the counter, waiting for the external drive enclosure.  I’m hoping that I can get a little bit of data off of it… I had a crash last week…

Anyway…

I got my cell phone bill today.  When I opened it, it was ridiculously expensive… again.  I had a couple of questions about my bill, so I called AT&T.  The fella who helped me was very friendly and helpful, even when I was cranky and a little sarcastic (who, me?)  I mentioned that I regretted switching to AT&T just for my iPhone, that my cell phone bills have just gotten worse and worse, and how much would my early termination fee be?